Tuesday, August 19, 2008

If It Looks Like A Smelly Fish ...


I really liked the 2004 vengeance / action flick, The Punisher. I thought that Thomas Jane did a great job portraying the former Marine turned vigilante named Frank Castle who spends his time hunting down and "punishing" violent criminals. I was excited when I found out about the sequel, entitled Punisher: War Zone (which was the title of one of the Punisher comics back in the day). I was disappointed that Thomas Jane would not be reprising his role as Castle, but I figured that we have been somewhat blessed with repeated casting with recent movie adaptations of comic books, so who am I to complain that Jane decided to pass. Then I watched the movie trailer on Comcast On Demand.
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"See Jane run. Run, Jane, run." And that goes for everyone else. Run ... away from this movie!
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Look, I'm no director, nor am I a movie producer, but I am a comic book fan, and the Punisher has to be one of the easiest characters to portray in a movie. Just do this: former Force Recon Marine ... add a family tragedy caused by the mob ... add guns and lots of bullets ... give the guy a Punisher skull shirt ... and press the kill button. BOOM! Punisher movie. If I wasn't actually watching the trailer for Punisher: War Zone, and if I did not see a quick shot of the Punisher wearing his skull shirt (ballistic vest) at the end of the clip, I would not have known that the movie was about the Punisher.
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I can understand changing superheroes to mirror reality. I don't want to see Hugh Jackman in Wolverine's full-body yellow and blue spandex costume. The leather costume works just fine. But when you start getting so far away from the idea that the idea starts to get watered down, then you should not be making the movie. They claim that this movie will earn an R rating due to the violence. Great, but is has to be about the Punisher, not just some guy shooting other guys. The Punisher would never do that foolish 3000 Miles to Graceland hanging upside down from the ceiling spin-and-shoot thing! That is so tactically unsound it makes my head spin! Have the guy fight like a Marine! Not some foolish super-action star!
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Gross! Unless I get rave reviews (bad trailers happen), I will be running from Punisher: War Zone, just like the very wise Thomas Jane.